Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
