How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
