Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He felt like a one man threesome
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
