Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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