Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
