Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
