something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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