I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
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Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
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I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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