it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
