i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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