it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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