I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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