Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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