well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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