i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dick very happy bro
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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