I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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