dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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