That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
