69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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