i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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