sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
