Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
