we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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