just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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