something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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