you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
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I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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