I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises