how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
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he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
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He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night