everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
