I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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