he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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