We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
