and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
