plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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