I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
