not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
