The maid of honor just puked.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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