I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
