Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
