she was so not down for the gang bang
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
