i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
