Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
