he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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