if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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