Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
