Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
God, I missed his penis.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize