12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
