By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
