I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize