"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
