Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
