I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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