We got so high we made milksteak
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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