we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
