A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
you never un-have a 4some
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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