Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
