Three words: puerto rican gang bang
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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